K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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