you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
