I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
