I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
