I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
