Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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