At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
