She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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