He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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