We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I love how my cats smell like pot.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
