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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Writing my paper on freud at bar

  (917): View more from New York City

  ??

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children

  (917): View more from New York City

  Smooth

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.

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• (310): View more from California

  how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.

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• (831): View more from California

  sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing

  (408): View more from California

  it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"

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