I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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