windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
