Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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