so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
