hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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