ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I think my moral compass just broke
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
