if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
