wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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