YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
