haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
