hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
