using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
