My brain says no but my pants say off.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
