Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I think scott just propositioned me for sex

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick

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(415): View more from California

And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!

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(828): View more from North Carolina

It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.

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(331): View more from Illinois

Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!

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(217): View more from Illinois

Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now

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