My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
