if i can run in heels then i can drive
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
