And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
