Im at strip club and am horny
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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