hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
