How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
