if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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