idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
