The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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