i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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