How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Nicole vs. Life
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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