You're so nebulous sometimes
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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