I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
