That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
