But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
