yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
