I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Randomize
