This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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