I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
