Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
