I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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