So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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