I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
