After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
