Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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