That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
